


Shave and a Haircut

by Ava_Dakedavra



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Humor, It's just cute ok, M/M, One Shot, Romance, Roommates, and they were roommates oh my god they were roommates, haircut, idek what this is ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 18:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15345660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ava_Dakedavra/pseuds/Ava_Dakedavra
Summary: How does that old musical diddy go again? "Shave and a haircut..."





	Shave and a Haircut

**Author's Note:**

> TWO BITS!  
> Many thanks to @DarthAbby for putting up with me and also for getting me into this ship in the first place. *koala emoji*

Bucky scratched the back of his head with his ballcap, grabbing the rim and twisting it from side to side, wincing as it caught against the short hairs along his scalp and went  _ scritch scritch scritch _ . He adjusted his grip on the pole, standing amidst the many people lining the subway car.

 

He might’ve done something...not smart. He’d gone into city to visit their landlady, Dolores, who he liked to drink coffee with and complain about how too many things had gotten fucked up since the forties. Like bananas, and Donald Trump. Dolores had mentioned that she couldn’t understand why so many nice young men didn’t bother getting dressed up anymore, and Bucky had halted in his sip of coffee and pondered it as well.

 

“There used to be three piece suits just to go to work in,” Dolores had sighed, “So many nice looking young men. Now it’s all these basketball shorts to go out on a date. My granddaughter brought a young man to meet me, and he would’ve been so good looking if he’d put even the smallest amount of effort to it.”

 

Bucky had blinked and adjusted his hat, although this time it was to get it to sit better against the longer strands of hair. It was a navy cap that Kate had gotten him, with gold embroidery with the term “ _ Insta-famous _ ” along the brim. He hated the saying, but he had to admit it was his favorite cap. Aside from  _ the _ Cap, but that was different. 

 

Dolores had assured him that he and Steve were the nicest dressed fellows she’d seen since her late husband Tim, and that Kate was a lucky lady, but he kept pondering over her words until he’d sat himself in a barber’s chair and said “Have at it.” 

 

He was wondering if he was insane the entire way home, where he hung up his backpack and jacket but decided to leave the cap on. 

 

Kate was lounging on the sofa with Steve pinned under her legs, looking decidedly bored as he poked his head in and asked what they wanted for dinner. Kate couldn’t be trusted with the stove, and Steve only knew how to make the best eggs in the world. Everything else was left up to Bucky, and he didn’t mind a bit. 

 

“Quick question,” Kate sniffed instead, “What’s up with the hat?”

 

“You got it for me,” he stated simply. “Thought you wanted me to wear it.”

 

“Yes,” she said as she sat up, picking her legs off of Steve as they both looked at him curiously. “But you  _ hate _ that hat and take it off as soon as you get home.”

 

“It’s my favorite hat,” he defended. 

 

“You hate it,” Steve agreed. 

 

Bucky stared them down, and before he knew it Kate had launched herself from the couch and he’d managed to catch her, grabbing her wrists and keeping them far away from his hat.

 

“ _ Buckyyyy _ ,” Kate whined as he practically bent her backwards over the arm that was clutching her to him. Crazy girl seemed to think they’d always catch her. Craziest thing was that they always did. “Lemme  _ seeeeee _ .”

 

“No, Kate,” he insisted before something that looked exactly like Steve’s finger poked the underside of the brim of his hat, and it went flying off of his head. Kate quit squirming for all of two seconds before she gasped.

 

“It looks so  _ good! _ Oh my god, Bucky! You look great!” She insisted, tugging her wrists out of his hand to run her fingers through his hair. It was shorter on the sides and only an inch longer on top. 

 

Bucky looked to Steve, who had his hand over his mouth and had an unreadable expression across his face. It was the same way he wore his hair in the forties, through the war and up until he was captured by Hydra for the second time.

 

Steve finally clapped his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and choked out, with a smile, “You look great, Buck.”

 

“Steve, I know Bucky’s a knockout, but I think crying is a bit excessive,” Kate teased gently, and he snorted in response and stuffed the navy cap on her head and over her eyes. “Hey! My hair!” 

 

“The hat looks better on you, you should keep it,” Bucky said as he settled her gently on her feet.

 

“I  _ knew _ you hated it!” Kate insisted, adjusting the hat properly. 

 

“ _ Vehemently _ ,” Bucky laughed, moving into the kitchen and rolling up his sleeves. “If nobody tells me what to make for dinner, I’m opening a can of Chef Boyardee and that will be  _ it. _ ”

 

“No!” Steve groaned as Kate gagged. “You like the shitty ones.”

 

“Spaghetti!” Kate cheered. 

 

“ _ Real _ spaghetti,” Steve begged.

 

“ _ Real  _ spaghetti, coming up,” Bucky agreed and moved into the kitchen, getting a pot out to boil water and deciding to scroll through his phone for a sauce recipe he liked. He paused when he felt someone kiss the back of his head, against the stubbly part of his hair, and he knew Kate was far too short to be able to do that without some sort of commotion behind him.

 

“Hey, punk,” Bucky murmured, although it’s laced with affection. “So...ya like it?”

 

“Love it,” Steve corrected. “Suits you.” And at that, Steve moved back into the living room to annoy Kate until dinner.

 

Bucky scoffed lightly. The next time he visited Dolores, she’d smacked his knee and told him he’d been holding out on her. Kate enjoyed playing with the new ‘do even more than the old one, which was saying something considering how often she used to braid it. Steve liked to scratch the stubbly bit, and enjoyed attacking Bucky’s head and face with his fucking beard as it came in thicker and thicker.

 

“It needs to go,” Bucky decided over pancakes with Kate one morning.

 

She agreed solemnly, swallowing her mouthful and rolling her eyes. “Beard burn. Every- _ fucking- _ where.”

 

“Here’s the plan: one of us seduces Steve, lures him into a false sense of security. The other has the clippers.” 

 

Kate tapped her fork against her mouth, trying to decide which one she wanted to be, when Steve walked in from his jog and kissed Bucky and then Kate on top of their heads.

 

“Morning,” he announced, heading straight for the coffee pot. “What’re you two talking about?”

 

Kate slammed her fork on the table, “How much we  _ hate _ your beard.”

 

“Shave it,” Bucky agreed.

 

“Nope,” Steve responded coolly before taking a sip from his mug and leaning against the counter. “I like it.”

 

“You’re basically ripping off Thor’s aesthetic,” Bucky said, quietly looking to Kate to make sure he used the word right. She nodded swiftly before staring Steve down again. 

 

“We miss the jaw line,” Kate pouted, patting her own jaw. “That nice, sweet sweet chiseled jaw line.” 

 

“It’s still  _ there _ ,” he defended, rubbing a hand across the hair over his jaw and making a low  _ scriiiiiitch _ noise. Kate visibly recoiled and scowled. 

 

“We’ll take matters into our own hands, then,” Bucky stated simply.

 

Steve snorted and moved to take his mug with him into the bathroom to shower. “You two do that.” 

 

“Dibs on the clippers,” Kate decided, cracking her knuckles menacingly over her pancakes. “I’m taking that scratchy son of a bitch  _ down. _ ” 

 

Operation: Seduce and Shave was well underway. Bucky had gotten Kate wedged behind the couch well before Steve came home, supplied with the all-important clippers and gummy snacks. They’d tried getting her into the air duct, but were worried about their deposit and what Dolores would say if they harmed anything. 

 

Bucky had waited until Steve sat down on the couch, coming into the living room and staring at him until he looked up and made direct eye contact.

 

“You okay, Buck?” Steve questioned slowly.

 

In response, Bucky simply lifted up his shirt. Steve kept staring, half amused and half worried, before he reached up and grabbed both of Kate’s wrists, calmly plucking the clippers out of her hand and flipping her over the couch and into his lap.

 

“Really?” Steve asked dully, clicking the clippers off. “That was all you had.”

 

“I knew you should’ve seduced him,” Bucky groaned. “You’ve got more to work with up top.”

 

“Why did you go for the top?” Kate questioned, still struggling to get the clippers before Steve tossed them onto the couch next to him. “Out of all of us, you have the best ass!”

 

Steve snorted, tugging Kate into his lap and rubbing his bearded chin all across her face as she screeched. “Never getting rid of it!” 

 

“It  _ burns _ ,” she whimpered. Bucky winced in sympathy.

 

Steve’s beard grew in thicker and longer, and Kate was constantly wary for any more beard attacks. Bucky was under scrutiny every time he went an extra day without shaving, as she wondered if he would be joining Steve’s ranks soon enough. He’d had to assure her several times that stubble was the farthest he’d go, because he just didn’t look right with a beard. 

 

“I could make reservations,” Kate insisted for what to have been the twentieth time that day.

 

Bucky tightened his hold around her. “No, Kate.” He snuggled further into the couch to prove his point, even as she sighed and cuddled closer.

 

“It’s your  _ birthday _ ,” she all but whined. “Don’t you want to do something?”

 

“Marathoning Brooklyn 99 is something,” he stated, “Can’t believe those bastards tried to cancel it.” 

 

Kate scoffed fondly at him and relaxed once more. “I got you a cake. And me and Steve got presents.”

 

Bucky sighed, “Fine. But no more than that.”

 

Kate practically beamed and he had to roll his eyes at her. He could hear Steve coming home from work, shuffling tiredly into the living room to poke his head in.

 

“Hey,” he said tiredly.

 

“Hey, punk,” Bucky said as he and Kate eyed him worriedly. “Long day?”

 

“ _ Long _ day,” he agreed as he moved to sit in the floor and let Kate play with his hair. “Happy birthday.” 

 

“Thanks,” Bucky noted before they all quieted to watch the remaining episodes. After they’d finished the current season, Kate stretched out and nearly punched Bucky in the face.

 

“Cake and presents!” she insisted as Steve snorted.

 

“Shouldn’t Bucky decide when he wants cake and presents?” Steve murmured sleepily.

 

“If Bucky decided,” Kate scoffed as she stood. “We would never be able to give it to him.”

 

“Why do you know me so well?” Bucky hummed, laughing when Kate took to pinching his arm. 

 

Steve stood and stretched as well, “Let me go upstairs and get mine, you two can set up.”

 

Kate tried to pull Bucky off of the couch, which he of course had to help with, before he was led into the kitchen and presented with a small chocolate cake.

 

“I thought you’d go big for some reason,” he said in amusement.

 

A look of panic came across her face, and she began worrying with her hands. “I can run out to the store and -“ 

 

“No, I like it,” he insisted, swooping down to kiss her softly. “Thank you. This is perfect for us.”

 

She relaxed and smiled, urging him to sit and wait for Steve before they got out the presents and ate.

 

“We can’t just have cake for dinner,” Bucky insisted. “I can cook on my birthday.”

 

“No,” Kate pouted, “We can order take out. You’re not cooking on your birthday.”

 

“Okay! Both of you close your eyes!” Steve called as he descended the stairs.

 

Bucky complied while Kate complained. “Why do  _ I _ have to close my eyes?” Kate questioned, although he had no doubt she’d done so as well. 

 

“It’s a gift for you too,” Steve said, and they heard his footsteps behind them before something was settled in Bucky’s lap, and Steve’s hands were on his shoulders. “Okay, open.”

 

They both did so, and looked at the plain cardboard box. Bucky opened it, only to find nothing. He glanced to Kate, who looked just as confused, and turned to Steve to question him before he made a noise of surprise.

 

Steve had hurriedly shaved off the beard while upstairs, and was snickering at the two of them as Kate took to slapping at his arms.

 

“Hey! Thought you’d be happy!” Steve insisted as he fought off her attacks.

 

“I am! But how  _ dare _ it take you this long to get rid of it!” She declared before halting her attack and petting Steve’s bare chin. “I’ve missed it. I can finally kiss you again.” 

 

Steve jerked his head back and gaped, “You’ve been avoiding kissing me because of my  _ beard _ ?!”

 

“Only because it hurts,” Bucky pointed out. Kate nodded in agreement, which caused Steve to grimace.

 

“I never knew it actually hurt,” he winced. “Shit.”

 

“It’s all better now,” Bucky said as he took Steve’s face into his hands and rubbed the smooth skin with a sigh. 

 

“Well now my present is  _ lame _ ,” Kate scoffed, hip bumping Steve and making him laugh. 

 

“It can’t be that bad,” Steve insisted.

 

Kate, in response, ducked into a cabinet and pulled out a gift bag. Bucky had put stipulations on Kate’s gift giving, that it was not to go over thirty dollars at most. She’d complained how little that left her with, while he’d argued that it was plenty. He was glad to see the gift bag was smaller in size, but then again that cell phone she’d gotten him was pretty small as well.

 

He delved into it and began laughing as he pulled out some shaving cream and a ten pack of disposable razors.

 

“The gag gift doesn’t work once the joke is over!” Kate pouted as Bucky continued to laugh, doubling over on himself as Steve took to scoffing at her.

 

“No mere Bic razors can stop the mighty beard!” He insisted regally, picking Kate up and hoisting her over his shoulder. “The beard shall return, and with a  _ vengeance.” _

 

“No,” Bucky and Kate chorused.

 

Steve continued, gripping onto a leg as Kate tried to twist from his hold. “Just in time for  _ Katie-Cat _ ’s birthday!”

 

“Rogers, I will kill you in cold blood,” she insisted, “For the beard  _ and _ that dumb nickname.” 

 

Bucky watched on as his two idiots bickered good naturedly, setting his chin in a hand and smiling at them. He noticed the candle flame still flickering from atop his cake, and quietly put it out with a pinch of his fingers. He didn’t feel the burn, and he knew the whole “birthday wish” rules didn’t account for that, but he didn’t mind.

 

He didn’t have much to wish for, anyway.


End file.
